RICE

Last week, I was installing a baby gate for a client so their pups can hang out on the front porch with them. Easy enough task - - ADHD tip: I made it easier still by reading the instructions the night before and making helpful notes in the margins, so that in the moment, when all the words started swimming about, I had something familiar to hold onto in my mind and on the page - - and things were going along pretty smoothly. I was sitting on the step below the gate with my knees pointed to the right. I stood up from that position and heard/felt what seemed like a “pop,” followed by a noise that is best described as the sound the last sliver of brake pad makes as it finally crumbles to its death inside a wheel, or the sound of heavy fabric being ripped. The sound continued, unhindered by time or gravity, for minutes, it seemed.

(It was only a second, of course.)

I stood very still, with the words “Well, fuck” floating into the air in front of me. I gingerly tapped my left toe to see what kind of pain I should expect, then took a gentle step, expecting to collapse forward onto my chin like a defeated Imperial walker. No pain, and no collapse, though things felt a little slippy around my knee.

I made a stern mental note to myself to kEeP aN eYe On It, and went on about my day, which included a dentist appointment (which you can read about in my previous post) and a small workout at the Y.

I wore a compression bandage all week at work, and for the next two workouts, and everything felt okay, if still a bit slippy, and then on Saturday my brain suddenly started working. Sort of.

I trust medicine, but not doctors.

I’m not completely broke, but I don’t have insurance.

I still harbor the (possibly - - probably) irrational belief that this injury was my “warning” and not a real injury at all, and I can walk, or rather SIT, it off.

So that is what I’m doing. Sitting and sitting and sitting. And, of course, RICE: rest, ice, compression, and elevation.

I do feel very lucky that, at the moment, I’m not suffering by not working, and the work I have will still be there when I’m ready to do it.

I want to tell you that I’m using this time glut wisely, working on several writing projects, catching up on a lot of reading, and even mending some clothes that have been patiently waiting for my attention for some time now.

But that would be a lie. I spend many minutes every day moving the charger from laptop to phone and back, so that I can spend all the other minutes looking at Twitter and playing Forge of Empires, which is slightly more engaging than Farmville, but also less satisfying than Civ II.

This morning, I played fourteen games of Solitaire before winning. (I’m kidding, I actually lost count.)

Sometimes I nap.

So, the next time you find yourself with free time on your hands, and you start feeling bad that you’re not out there curing cancer and writing the next great American novel - - come sit by me. I’'ll show you my Viking settlement.